Tag Archives: wives

Wordless Witness

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WORDLESS WITNESS

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.

Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Peter 3: 1-6)

Peter, what are you asking? Once again he turned the standard of the world on its head!

It is well known that more women than men are inclined to respond to the gospel. How many spiritual ‘widows’ are there in churches all over the world? That means that homes are divided right down the middle over the fundamental issue of ‘who do you worship?’ People either worship the Creator God or they are self-made and worship their creator. This is the Great Divide between heaven and hell – not the hell of fire and brimstone but the hell of disunity which comes from divided loyalties.

How are wives meant to handle the situation, especially in the first century when women became unequally yoked with their husbands through faith in Jesus? This was not an unequal yoke by choice but by circumstances.

Paul warned believers about deliberately becoming involved in an unequal yoke with unbelievers:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Cor. 6: 14)

It’s one thing to make a foolish choice before marriage and then live to regret the consequences. It’s another to find the household split through one member’s decision to follow Jesus. What is a wife to do in such circumstances?

Peter’s counsel is both wise and productive. Many a wife in such a situation thinks that preaching to her husband is the way to go. Unfortunately, it seldom works that way. It usually has to opposite effect on an unbelieving husband. Remember that one who does not believe in Jesus is God’s enemy (Romans 5: 10). The more the wife bangs him with the Bible, the more resistant he becomes and the worse the conflict in the home.

Preaching won’t do it and dressing like a princess won’t do it either. Peter certainly did not advise Christian wives to dress like frumps! Perhaps she might even want to do that to get even with him or to turn him off physically when he doesn’t treat her with love.  Dressing up may arouse the husband’s sensual desires but it will not touch his heart. The wife may adorn herself outwardly to please her husband but it will bring him no nearer to believing in Jesus.

What kind of behaviour will break through his defences and touch his heart? The same kind of behaviour Peter counselled slaves to exhibit towards harsh and cruel slave-owners. Submit to him, whatever his demands until he recognises in you a supernatural grace that only God through His Spirit can produce. Preaching, dressing up or even resisting him will not do what a humble and gentle attitude will.

Jesus’s attitude and behaviour in the face of injustice brought life out of death. Imagine what a wife’s willing submission to her husband would do. If he were cruel or unreasonable, it would expose his wickedness against her purity of heart.

Peter’s counsel to believing wives is simple. Be like Sarah who willingly and quietly submitted to Abraham as head of the household. Be quiet and live it! Is that easy? No! Is it right? Yes! Why? Because God says it’s the way that works. It’s wisdom – doing what works.

The ways of the world and the ways of God’s kingdom are completely opposite to each other. The worldly way is to force other people to do what you want whether they like it or not. Use whatever it takes to make them do things your way. It may work by controlling your husband’s behaviour, but it only makes his heart harder and more resistant to the truth especially if you use the Bible as a weapon against him!

The kingdom’s way is to submit without a word, even if the demands are unjust. Absorb the wrong until the conscience of the wrongdoer is so activated that he is awakened to the truth through the example of his wife. You never know. He might just be won over by your being like Jesus. An example is better than a thousand words.

Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

Harmony In The Household

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HARMONY IN THE HOUSEHOLD

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favour, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord (Col. 3: 18-22).

‘As members of one body you were called to peace.’ This was Paul’s conviction about life in the body of Christ. Peace is only achieved when each individual submits to a collective will and is more concerned for the well-being of the others than for himself.

Likewise, in the family, harmony can only come about in the atmosphere of mutual submission. However, someone has to initiate the harmony that should characterise a household that represents the body of Christ. In Paul’s book, the person to initiate the harmony is the one in charge – the husband and father of the family.

Why must wives submit to their husbands? Is he the boss? Does he have the right to call the shots and expect everyone to jump? Not according to Paul. He expanded on his prescription for a harmonious household in his letter to the Ephesian church. The pivot around which everything turns is the husband’s love for his wife. He is to love his wife as Jesus loved the church.

Of course, that does not mean that Jesus sat in an arm chair and ordered His followers around. Quite the contrary! He loved His ‘bride’ enough to give His life for her. Jesus modelled a servant heart during His earthly life. This was His take:

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10: 45).

It is far easier to submit to someone who has a servant heart than a person who lords it over others. A true husband and father is one who serves his family rather than one who rules with an iron fist.

How difficult is it for a wife to submit to a husband who loves her and shows his love by taking care of her needs? This is the essence of true love – meeting the needs of others at one’s own expense. Love is the oil that keeps the household functioning smoothly. If selfishness rules rather than love, the atmosphere will quickly become toxic as each one strives to get his own way.

What about children? Obedience is God’s first and only requirement for children in a family. Once again, however, God does not demand blind obedience because that would contribute nothing towards creating a family unit. Fathers must initiate the environment in which it is easy for children to obey their parents. Commands that reflect a father’s capricious demands produce rebellion, not compliance and fracture that love that holds the family together.

How do slaves (or servants) fit into the household? Are they part of it or are they just cogs in a machine? What part do they play in the life of a family? In this family, which Paul sees as representing a Christ-controlled family, the servants play an important part. They are as much a part of serving one another as the husband, wife and children are, but even more so. Their serving is not voluntary but obligatory. What counts is why they do it and the way they do it.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be paid for their wrongs, and there is no favouritism (Col. 3: 23-25).

How sad that believers are often no better than unbelievers in the world of work and business! What a witness for Jesus when they do their work as unto the Lord and with a heart of true worship!

Unity, in the end, is about submitting ourselves to one another and serving one another out of reverence for Christ, whether it be in the church, in the home or in the workplace. This is the only way in which society will ever really work.

Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.