GUIDE YOUR CHILDREN

Proverbs 22:6 NIV
[6] “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Now here’s wise counsel for young parents who have been entrusted with a precious gift but without the maker’s manual! This is not about telling your children about the Lord and His ways so that, when they grow up, they will be good Christians! This is about guiding your children along the way they were created to go, and they will continue on that way when they are adults.

The King James Version translates…

Proverbs 22:6 KJV
[6]”Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Every child is born wrapped in irresistible cuteness but also with enormous potential for good or evil. Left to himself, his natural bent towards evil will eventually destroy him. Frustrated by misguided parents, he will rebel either against too many or too few boundaries.

Discipline correctly applied will help a child along the path of functional living…

Proverbs 29:15 NLT
[15] “To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.”

…but, too much or too harsh discipline will frustrate a child.

Ephesians 6:4 NIV
[4] “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

So, what’s the answer?

As much as the Bible is a guidebook for everyday adult living, it also provides wise counsel for parents who desire to raise their children in God’s ways.

To apply correct guidance to a child who is unknown at birth, takes time to learn, to know, and to understand one’s offspring. He/she is a mix of our ancestors. What their genes and yours produce is a unique new person, full of potential but vulnerable to the influences that will shape and direct that potential.

Solomon’s wise instruction takes into account the specific bent of each child, not only towards good or evil but also towards the direction that child will take in life.

Foolish parents try to mould their children into the predetermined life they want for their son or daughter. Instead of studying the child as he/ she grows up, recognising likes and dislikes, desires and aspirations, they try to force their child to follow the path of their choice.

Yes, parents do influence their children through participating in parental activities and even careers but…the final choice must never be forced on them.

This consideration is pivotal for a child’s mental and emotional wellbeing as he/she moves along the path towards responsible adulthood. Put it this way, a son who enjoys playing cricket should never be forced to play rugby because his father was an international rugby star! That’s an exaggerated example but, in everyday terms, a child should be given every opportunity to cultivate what he loves and does well within the boundaries of faith in Jesus and good character.

We live in a society which is continually dispensing with boundaries. So-called freedom is measured by throwing off the restrictions put on people from the outside. The fewer the laws, the greater their freedom, so they think.

Trouble is that this kind of “freedom” encroaches on the freedom of others. So, for example, people who think they are free to throw noisy, all-night parties disregard the freedom of neighbours who have the right to a peaceful night’s sleep.

So, parental guidance and discipline includes both the broader, all encompassing boundaries of good morals and ethics, godly behaviour, consideration, and good manners as well as the boundaries of their choice of career path they will follow.

True freedom is inward…freedom from guilt, fear, and shame…through self-discipline and self-control. These are the boundaries in which a child will flourish when he/she moves through childhood into the adult world of work and career.

God creates each person unique and suited to their part in the bigger scheme of His kingdom. Each has a niche to fill that no one else can fill. If wise parents understand this principle, they will study their child, understand his/her unique traits, and guide their child along the path God has prepared for them.

To understand this process and carry it out will produce a happy and fulfilled adult rather than a frustrated and rebellious child who will kick over the traces as soon as he/she is out of the home.

Solomon’s proverbs also provide the nuts and bolts of this training process. Across the book, he gives counsel to parents to shape the way they carry out their mandate to accompany and guide their child towards the place God has prepared for them to occupy.

So, we do well to put this instruction book to good use. Not only does God hold our children accountable for their contribution to this world, but parents also for the part they play in helping their children achieve His purpose.