“We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.” May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭15‬:‭1‬-‭3‬, ‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Hidden in Paul’s conclusion…about eating or not eating food offered to idols or celebrating or not celebrating a special day…is a principle that applies to the way we relate to people in every part of our everyday lives. It’s about control!

Jesus stated, in His “Sermon on the Mount”, that people must not judge one another. Judging others is a form of control. The danger is that when we set the standard for someone else, we fall under the same standard as we use to measure other people. 

Paul takes this prohibition and applies it to the attitudes we take up when people don’t measure up to our standards. We try to force them to conform to our standards. 

“So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭10‬, ‭12‬-‭13‬, ‭15‬-‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

There is so much more to this life as followers of Jesus than simply applying a set of rules. God did not give us the mandate to play policeman to one another. We are responsible for our own behaviour, not for the behaviour of others. 

 Living in God’s kingdom is about lovingly taking care of one another…not just in our behaviour in a mechanical sort of way but from the depth of our hearts because we belong to each other.  We are part of one body. We are responsible for each others’ welfare…physical, emotional, and spiritual…when we interact with them. 

This aspect of doing life together as the body of Christ is a two-way street. We are responsible for our own behaviour and attitudes…and we are participants together in promoting love and preserving unity. 

Let’s talk about control. When God gave His mandate to Adam in the garden, to manage the earth, He said nothing about people controlling one another. To everyone He gave the gift of free will…to make their own choices and decisions without coercion from anyone else. However, after Adam’s defection, God added another dimension to the marriage partnership…because, perhaps, Eve was as guilty as Adam for misleading her husband…and was, therefore, part of the consequences. 

“Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control (have dominion, rule, control) your husband, but he will rule over you.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So it seems, at face value, that control was introduced into the most intimate of human relationships at that point.  Control of one person over another appears to be an imposition because of sin…and the cause of the conflict and power struggles that happen everywhere, and especially in families, when people try to control one another. 

So, Paul says, there is an overriding consideration that must govern the way we relate to each other. We are not to want or force our own way but rather to submit to each other because…and here’s the most important reason… each of us is accountable to God for our own attitudes and behaviour. 

This puts another important dimension to the way we think and live. A community of people can only live in harmony if they care more about the others than about themselves. This requires God’s grace to love because our old selfish ways are always ready to intrude. 

Let’s go back to what Paul said in a previous chapter. 

“Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law…Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭13‬:‭8‬, ‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So, you see that the even smallest detail in our lives together needs God’s grace, which He provides through His Spirit in us. We must loosen our grip on the idea that we are everyone’s policeman. Jesus is Lord, not us. We are ultimately accountable to Him, not to each other. We must trust Him to work through each of us to fulfil His purposes without our help. 

When we really get hold of the truth that…

“…We don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead. So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭7‬-‭10‬, ‭12‬-‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

…we will come closer to His desire for harmony and co-operation in His human family. 

As always, we must look both ways…inwardly to guard our hearts…and outwardly to protect our fellowship. If we do that, we will please the Lord, and we will keep our Christian family intact and free from conflict. 

To be continued