Monthly Archives: April 2016

Beauty Wins The Day

Christian Life, , ,

BEAUTY WINS THE DAY

What is beauty?

The people of the world focus on the visible beauty of shape, form and colour. Glossy magazines are full of pictures of beautiful women garbed in the latest of outrageous fashions. They spend huge amounts of money on draping and adorning their bodies with garments and makeup to enhance their visual attraction. When the body begins to show the inevitable sagging and bagging of age, they do whatever they can to reverse the process.

However, all this focus on their outward appearance and efforts to retain their youthful looks are of no account when their lives fall apart in the process. Outward beauty is too fragile and transient to sustain health and happiness. Many of them go from relationship to relationship, from husband to husband in an futile effort to find happiness, peace and contentment but beauty alone cannot hold people together.

What is true beauty?

Peter, in his first letter, gives us a glimpse into God’s definition of beauty. He is addressing wives of unbelieving husbands. What can they do to win their husbands to faith in Jesus? Some wives resort to a variety of tactics in an effort to persuade their husbands to turn to the Lord as they have done. Unfortunately, many of their tactics only succeed in antagonising, rather than winning them.

Peter says, “I know a sure-fire way to win your husbands without saying a word.”

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives (1 Pet. 3:1).

So, what is this secret weapon Peter encourages wives to use to win their husbands for the Lord?

Here comes the word again – beauty!

Is Peter saying, “Turn on the charm”? Or perhaps, “Make yourself as attractive as possible so that he will listen to you”? I don’t think so. It hasn’t worked before so why would you think it would work just because Peter said so. No, he has a far simpler way to impress your spouse so that he will listen to you.

Cultivate inner beauty!

You beauty should not come from outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Pet. 3:3).

A gentle and quiet spirit? Did you get that? God prizes a gentle and quiet spirit – no competition for power, no selfish I-want-my-own-way attitude, no pouting and sulking when I am crossed, no manipulating with words or moods. You know what I’m talking about.

What is a gentle and quiet spirit? Psa. 18:35 throws light on the meaning of gentleness.

“Thy gentleness hath made me great” (KJV) or “You stoop down to make me great” (NIV).

The Hebrew word for “gentleness” means clemency – the disposition to show forbearance, compassion, or forgiveness in judging or punishing; leniency; mercy.  (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/clemency – retrieved April 2016.

Most Bible translators use the word “gentleness” to translate the Hebrew. I love the older NIV’s use of the words “stoop down”. They give me the picture of the God who is great, high and lifted up, stooping down to my level to lift me up. That’s just what He did when He came to earth to be one of us.

The focus on external beauty, in the end, does nothing to foster harmonious relationships. In fact, most of the time it does the opposite because it focuses on self. However, when I willingly and deliberately stoop down in my spirit to show clemency – to be compassionate, forgiving and merciful to lift another up, we are drawn to one another, not alienated by selfish attitudes.

“Gentleness” pops up as the characteristic of a child of God in more than one place in Scripture. Jesus called people to follow Him, to take His yoke and learn from Him because, as He said, “I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.” Did you get that? Gentleness produces rest, not strife both inside oneself and in one’s interaction with others.

How can we, who are naturally selfish and competitive, learn to be gentle, not vying for position and always wanting to be right, but stooping down to lift another up? There is only one way.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

Gentleness is not a quality we can produce out of our old, sinful natures. It is a characteristic of the one who is led by the Holy Spirit. It is the outflow of His life, the nature of Jesus which He forms in us as we yield to Him, moment by moment.

Jesus explained to His disciples that greatness comes from serving others, not expecting to be served. The more we choose to serve instead of being served, the more gentle we will become, the Holy Spirit nurturing the very qualities in us that made Jesus great.

Do you want to be beautiful with a beauty that never fades with time? Work on your gentleness and, strangely enough, your outer beauty will reflect the inner, no matter how much time ravages your physical frame.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

Do you like this post? Then buy your own copy of my book, Learning to be a Disciple, which is also available from www.amazon.com or www.takealot.com in South Africa. You can also order a copy directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com

Watch this space!

My latest book, The Heartbeat of Holiness, will also soon be available.

 

 

Plus Or Minus?

Christian Life, , ,

PLUS OR MINUS?

It’s amazing, isn’t it how many minuses life dishes out and how few pluses by comparison, so it seems. When you look back over your own life, as I do over mine, what stands out for you? Hard times, tough experiences, bitter memories or reverses of one kind or another? Dark shadows across the landscape of your life?

I can think of the many days, weeks, and months of hardship and suffering I endured which I would have exchanged for better ones any day. After my marriage, I had four sons in quick succession, four in four and three-quarter years, all single births. For a while we lived in a new area where we had no telephone. I had no car – we could only afford one – and I was housebound with four young children.

My husband not only worked all day but he spent most evenings, and often deep into the night doing his “ministry” which left me alone with my children and unable to make contact with the outside world if anything went wrong.

My fifth pregnancy, a longed-for little girl ended in a stillbirth at thirty five weeks. In a fit of rage during which the umbilical cord went into spasm and formed a clot, my baby died in my womb. Shortly after that, we moved to another town where my husband had accepted a call to pastor a small church.

For a while, things went well but the unfinished business of my husband’s childhood haunted our relationship. During our stay in that town, I lost two more pregnancies; my husband was voted out of the church and had to seek secular employment; we sent my eldest son to boarding school because he was unhappy in the local dual-medium school and we as husband and wife became more and more estranged because of the anger which masked his emotional pain.

Once again, we had to move because my husband had alienated himself from his work colleagues. He was excellent at his job but his emotional pain from early childhood kept him from forming meaningful relationships. A post became vacant in the town where my eldest son was in boarding school. We moved there and were able to bring him back into our family circle.

Unfortunately, his years away from home had alienated him from us and he, too manifested a great deal of anger. Our family life was turbulent, to say the least. It was painful for me as a mother to watch unresolved anger eroding the family’s bonds, one child damaging another through anger and aggression and to see a father slowly destroying any hope of true father/son togetherness because he did not know how to be a father.

The outcome was inevitable. When three of my sons were out of the house and the fourth close to completing his schooling, I was thrown out of my home, leaving my youngest son in his father’s care. I filed for divorce but I had no home to which to take my son. I lived for a while in the nurses’ home near the hospital where I worked and for six months house sitting for a doctor who worked at the hospital.

This sounds like a bleak picture, doesn’t it?

The Apostle Paul made a statement of ringing assurance to which I can say, “Amen’” with all my heart.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).

As painful as many of my life experiences have been, with hindsight I can say with confidence that God turned them to good. He is in the business of restoration, from the reverses in our individual lives all the way to the restoration of all things at the end of the age.

How could I have felt and known the greatness of God’s love in the midst of my loss had He not allowed me to go through it? How could I have experienced the many times He provided for me when I had nothing if I had not gone through tough times? Even the property I prayed for, debt free, to run a Bed and Breakfast and the expertise to be a business woman with no training or know-how were miracles of God’s loving provision. He turned my minuses into pluses.

He turned every tragedy into a blessing which has enriched my life, given me ever-increasing confidence in His love and goodness and enabled me to minister to others in their pain. The mountain peaks of suffering, pain and loss have been transformed into vantage points from which I now view the panorama of God’s greatness – love, mercy, compassion, miracles, healing and renewal.

My sons are now husbands and fathers. God is taking each one on his own journey of restoration – fathers learning to father their own children as they respond to the revelation of God’s love for them; brothers experiencing reconciliation and the joy of being family again. My life has been renewed as the Father has loved me and revealed that love through a loving family, both my own blood family and the blood-bought family of His children.

How much richer our lives would be if we anticipated good things to come out of our painful experiences instead of becoming hard and bitter when our lives go “pear-shaped!” I am learning, instead of sitting down in a bundle of misery and bewailing my hardships, to declare with confidence, “God will turn even this to my good and His glory.

And, best of all, I know that, in the end His plan is to restore in me and in you the beautiful image of His Son, Jesus.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

Do you like this post? Then buy your own copy of my book, Learning to be a Disciple, which is also available from www.amazon.com or www.takealot.com in South Africa. You can also order a copy directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com

Watch this space!

My latest book, The Heartbeat of Holiness, will also soon be available.

 

Shut up!

Pastor's Desk

Dear Family

There is just so much stuff going on all over at the moment that I feel desperately sorry for the person without God. We have a country and a world in crisis. From natural disasters to political turmoil to out of control violent crime to super bugs in hospitals to every nook and cranny of society in trauma, we are a world waiting for the next serving of bad news! And all of this is to be expected. Psalm 14:1 says, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is none who does good.” Everything we see around us that’s going wrong is simply the outworking of this verse. A world filled with people who have rejected Almighty God, His order and His path, and chosen instead to follow after their own devices and their own very limited wisdom. No doubt, things will still get a lot worse in time to come because that’s just the nature of evil man without God, spurred on by satan and his minions.

Now, in the midst of all this stuff, God has His children who, although they find themselves in this world of trouble, can walk as though not of it. Jesus promised us peace because He overcame the world completely and finally. There is obviously onus upon God’s children to walk in His way in order to enjoy the fullness of His peace in the midst of chaos. We cannot apply worldly principles to deal with issues of the heart. Another bottle of whisky will not fix the brokenness of humanity. God commands us quite forcefully when He says in Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God…” This is not optional, it’s a command. “Shut up” your fears and concerns. “Shut up” your anxieties and negativities. “Shut up and know that I am God”. These are moment by moment choices that we are able to make in the midst of whatever is going on around us. We place our trust and faith in Him and He empowers us with peace and certainty. The verse goes on to say, “I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Ha! Ha! We know the end result and it’s coming. Jesus said we must not panic when stuff goes on around us. He is coming back and He will keep us in complete peace in the interim.

“Do not be discouraged, do not be afraid” rings in my head whenever I feel weighed down by cares of the planet. Join me in deciding to be still and know that He is God.

Passion Or Obligation

Christian Life, , , ,

PASSION OR OBLIGATION

Have you read The Shack?

I know it’s a controversial book. It seems that people either love it or hate it, depending on whether they understand the book or not. Some have even accused the author, William Paul Young, of teaching New Age theology! Well! You decide for yourself.

I have read the book twice and written my own study guide for my discipleship class because of the value of the book for me. I found a video clip on YouTube of an interview between Nicky Gumbel (of “The Alpha Course” fame) and Paul Young which has greatly enriched my understanding of the book.

I have no intention of promoting The Shack in this blog. However, in the first discussion session I had with my discipleship group, we unpacked a concept which occurs near the beginning of the story. The character who represents Jesus in the book responds to the main character, Mack, when Mack decides that he ought to see Papa (God) in the kitchen. (Perhaps this is a nudge for you to read the book to get the details of the story).

“So now what am I supposed to do?” (Mack asked Jesus).

Jesus replied in the following words, “You’re not supposed to do anything. You’re free to do whatever you like.” Jesus paused and then continued, trying to help by giving Mack a few suggestions. “I am working on a wood project in the shed; Sarayu is in the garden; or you could go fishing, canoeing, or go in and talk to Papa.”

“Well, I sort of feel obligated to go in and talk to him, uh, her.”

“Oh,” now Jesus was serious. “Don’t go because you feel obligated. That won’t get you any points around here. Go because it’s what you want to do.”

Ignore the story for the moment. What Jesus highlighted in His reply was that our relationship with God is not based on obligation but on the free will God has given us, an irrevocable gift which He honours and which should govern the way we relate to Him.

If you think about it seriously, you must ask yourself how much of the way you relate to the Father is out of a sense of obligation to Him. Were you, like I was, taught to “say your prayers”, read the Bible, go to church, and share your faith as part of your “duty” to God as a believer? The problem then becomes one of guilt. What if you are so tired when you kneel to pray at night that you fall asleep instead of “talking to God” or reading the Bible?

What makes fellowship with God different from the way we relate to people? Imagine a friendship conducted on the basis of obligation. There would be no spontaneity, no freedom to be yourself, and no expression of real love. It would be a cast of “You did this for me; now I must do that for you.” Yet, somehow, the sense of obligation creeps into our relationship with the Father. How pleased do you think He is with us when our response to Him is a heartless series of actions because we feel we ought to?

How does that measure up to Jesus’ interaction with the Father. As I read through the gospels, I get the sense that Jesus was absolutely passionate about the Father. He could not get enough of Him, He spent as much time with Him as He could, even to forfeiting sleep to get some “alone time” with Him, and doing everything, even submitting Himself to crucifixion out of love for the Father. Imagine Jesus woodenly praying, reading the Bible etc., because He felt obliged to and guilty if He didn’t! We don’t relate to our dads that way.

What if, instead, we feel so free with our Father that we have no guilt if we oversleep and miss out on our prayer time, or fail in some way to carry out our self-imposed religious rituals? Of course, this is not an invitation to neglect every opportunity to strengthen our bonds with the Father, but it does release us from the terrible attitude that we must, and if we don’t, God will be disappointed with us and get us back in some way.

Jesus told His disciples, on the eve of His departure,

“If you love me, keep my commands.” (John 14:15)

Here’s a paraphrase which will help you to understand His heart.

If you love me, you will value what I value so much that you will never do anything to break my heart.

Wow! Imagine loving Jesus so passionately that everything we do would bring joy to Him. Not only that but loving Him so much that we include Him in everything we do. No rituals, not rules, no religion, no obligation – just fellowship and companionship all through the day.

Jesus certainly didn’t come to set up another religion. He came to show us the Father and to take us to the Father.

Thomas said to Him, ‘Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?’ Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ (John 14: 5-6).

Why not shed the foolish notion that God will be disappointed with you if you do not do this, that or the other? Why not embrace the truth that He is your Abba – Daddy; that He loves you and that He delights in you, and just love Him and live in the joy and freedom of His love for you and – just be yourself?

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

Do you like this post? Then buy your own copy of my book, Learning to be a Disciple, which is also available from www.amazon.com or www.takealot.com in South Africa. You can also order a copy directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com

Watch this space!

My latest book, The Heartbeat of Holiness, will also soon be available.

 

Be Careful, Motor Mouth

Christian Life, , ,

BE CAREFUL, MOTOR MOUTH!

How good we are at hiding our true selves behind our sunny faces and our little white lies! “Hello! How are you?” Without batting an eyelid, we reply, “I’m fine, thank you,” while underneath we are boiling because we have just had a set-to with our husband, son or daughter or we are struggling with one or other overwhelming emotion. We display a calm or nonchalant attitude while, on the inside, we are churning.

What about the false front we put one when we encounter someone we really don’t like or someone who has done us great harm? We pretend to be friendly but can’t wait to get away. What about the “spiritual” masks we wear so that people will have a good opinion of us. We are often schizophrenic in our attitudes and behaviour. In church we are one thing and at home quite another.

Our responses are routine or, worse still, we say what we think the other person wants to hear rather than what is true.

We wear “masks’ to cover up our real selves while inside we are often a ferment of fear, anxiety, insecurity, guilt, shame, resentment, bitterness, jealousy or whatever emotion our many adverse experiences in life have spawned. We think we can successfully hide what we think or who we really are inside by putting on a fake exterior that projects the kind of people we want to be.

However, it’s very difficult to keep up pretences and, sooner or later, we will give ourselves away. The sad thing is that we are most often unaware of the times we have given ourselves away and by a very small member of our body, our tongues. How often I have inadvertently exposed the real me by my thoughtless words!

Let me be specific. I got to know someone who became a close friend for a while. In the beginning, we got on well and, after some time we began to open up to each other. As our friendship progressed, I began to feel uncomfortable in her presence. She was a counsellor. I had the sense that, rather than enjoying a bona fide friendship, she had slipped into the mode of counsellor and I had become a counselee. She say things like, “You are very insecure,” or “You need counselling,” or even on one occasion she told me, “I think you are jealous of me.”

I was taken aback because her assessment of me didn’t seem to fit. Slowly it dawned on me that she was subconsciously doing what her counselling training had taught her; that people in emotional pain often use others on which to “dump” their emotional pain. She began to project her own weaknesses onto me. Every time she analysed me, “diagnosing” her own stuff and “dumping” it on me, I carried the guilt of what she was projecting on to me.

One evening, in an outburst against me because of an innocent comment I had made, I heard a quiet voice inside saying, “You are not guilty,” of her accusation. I felt God’s peace fill my heart. For the first time, I sat back and listened to her tirade without being upset. In that moment, I realised that her words were exposing her heart.

How accurate Jesus was when He said,

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45).

There’s the traitor!

We are not even aware, most of the time that our tongues give us away. The observations or accusations we fling at others in a moment of rage, or the criticisms we level at others or the emphatic judgements we make with such confidence are nothing more than a mirror of our hearts.

This observation should not only be a warning to us to watch our tongues; to say less and listen more, but it should also be an encouragement for us to know that we can differentiate between what is our “stuff” and our accuser’s “stuff”. I have learned from my experience with my friend that I can step back and disregard the things people say to me about me if I know that their words are unconsciously revealing themselves, not me.

I am experiencing ever-increasing freedom from guilt when I disassociate myself from the words of anger or accusation spoken to or against me. How much guilt and emotional pain I save myself when I realise that the tirade coming from the mouth of another is nothing but a mirror of their heart! I can step back and say, in my heart, “That’s not my stuff.” Amazingly, when I am free from guilt, I can also regard my aggressor with compassion because I listen to the heart of a person in pain.

How gracious our Father is to give us a tool, not to accept the load of guilt the enemy would put on us, but to have a window into the soul of another so that we can understand instead of judge, and pray instead of hate or seek revenge.

So be careful, motor mouth. Watch your tongue if you have anything in your heart to hide.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

Do you like this post? Then buy your own copy of my book, Learning to be a Disciple, which is also available from www.amazon.com or www.takealot.com in South Africa. You can also order a copy directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com

Watch this space!

My latest book, The Heartbeat of Holiness, will also soon be available.