PMS – THE MONSTER THAT DESTROYS

In my 83 years, I have had my share of tough times. I suffered a toxic marriage that ended in divorce, which left deep emotional scars, and I endured many years of sub-clinical depression as a consequence.

By subclinical, I mean that this “condition” was not medically diagnosed because I was never physically debilitated by my feelings. For years, I continued my busy life with four young sons under a cloud of misery.

Through these experiences, I have reached a life-changing conclusion which I shall explain in what follows.

A little booklet written by an insightful Christian changed my life forever. This booklet was entitled “How to win over depression” by Tim La Haye, an expansion of a chapter in his book entitled “Spirit Controlled Temperaments”.

The writer used an interesting mathematical equation to explain the mechanism of depression.
A difficult situation or event (essentially sin) X self-pity = depression. How simple is that!

If one removes the self-pity from the equation, the mathematical problem doesn’t exist anymore. Depression disappears.

Is this the way to deal with depression today? The first problem is that medically trained people have made depression a “mental illness” which many try to manage or cure with drugs instead of uncovering and dealing with its root, compounded by self-pity or PMS (Poor Me Syndrome).

When depression becomes a diagnosis, depressed people become victims. Remove the self-pity, and the victim becomes a victor!

Unfortunately, Christian counsellors often follow the treatment misguided secular practitioners use to treat a spiritual problem. I call it “spiritual” because self-pity is part of the vast range of self-sins which form the core of the old sinful nature.

Often, the counsellor’s sympathetic agreement with the patient’s suffering enforces the sufferer’s victim mentality.

In his book, “My Utmost for His Highest”, Oswald Chambers makes this observation (I paraphrase), “Many Christians sit down and die of self-pity, and we help them die.”

Once I grasped the significance of La Haye’s equation, and applied it when depression threatened to overtake me, I have NEVER experienced depression again. As soon as I recognised (past tense) the symptoms, I dealt with the self-pity, and the rest is history!

The steps I took to cure depression have become, for me, like the ABC of reading.

1. I recognised the symptoms of impending depression; no peace in my heart, feelings of hopeless and heaviness, just feeling “bad”.

2. I took steps to identify the issue that triggered those feelings. What had happened to start the process? It could be something I had done wrong that made me feel bad. Sometimes, some sin, done to or by me that I had denied or ignored was the beginning of the equation. Sometimes depression followed a set of painful or unfortunate circumstances that set the ball rolling.

3. I took responsibility for the self-pity that triggered those emotions.

4. I turned to the Lord, confessed, and renounced my self-pity, received His forgiveness for my unbelief in His goodness, and affirmed my confidence in His love for me.

5. I renewed my commitment to trusting in the Lord, resting in His promise that He works in all things for my good. Whatever the issue that provoked my self-pity, I included it in the “all things” working for my good.

The outcome was amazing. God’s peace replaced my depression, His joy was restored, and I began a new chapter of understanding God’s ways.

How often our sin, no matter how insignificant it may seem, sets a process going that affects not only us but also those around us, bringing a cloud of darkness over us, our families and those closest to us. No matter what form that sin takes, it is the fruit of unbelief in God’s love and goodness. It will cause us to feel bad. We will, inevitably, adopt a victim mentality, blame others where we can, and feel sorry for ourselves.

If we don’t recognise and deal with the situation honestly, and stop the emotional downward slide, we will land up in depression. I am convinced that real, deep depression is fertile feeding ground for demonic activity. Not even the diagnosis of “chemical imbalance” with its appropriate medication can offset the invasion of demons into a soul rotten with self-pity.

Psalm 42 is a resume of David’s brush with depression and his journey to victory.

Psalms 42:3 NLT
[3] Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” …
[5] Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and [6] my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you— even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar….
[8] But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life….
[11] Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!

Without the Lord in the centre, depression will win. However, if we allow Him to be in the middle of the process to healing, we will be “more than conquerors” of which Paul speaks in Romans 8.

Romans 8:37 NLT
[37] “No, despite all these things, (every adversity we can think of) overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”

Truly, the permanent cure for depression is not a diagnosis and its treatment. Our hope lies in an honest examination of the situation and a return to the truth of God’s Word. Recognise and deal with the sin that opened the door to depression. Repent and return to the Lord. Receive His forgiveness, and His peace will return.

Hallelujah! God’s Word is the real medicine that works.