Tag Archives: marital unfaithfulness

JESUS’ YOKE ON DIVORCE

Christian Life, ,

JESUS’ YOKE ON DIVORCE

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32.

In yesterday’s study, we talked about adultery being more than sleeping with another persons’ spouse. It begins in the heart by bringing another person into the union between husband and wife and breaking that union; it destroys the purpose of marriage, unity; and it disrupts God’s plan for the whole universe functioning together as one, as an expression of who He is – God is one.

Jesus did not say that divorce is an unforgivable sin. He said, firstly, that men should not divorce their wives for any old reason and, secondly, it should be done in the proper way. A man had no right to send his wife away if she displeased him over some minor thing she had done. He had no right to treat her like a bit pf property which he could throw away when he got tired of it.

On another occasion (Matthew 19:1-9), when the Pharisees asked Jesus if was alright for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, Jesus replied that it was not God’s plan from the beginning. Marriage is much more than two people coming together in a legally binding agreement which can be dissolved by a court of law if the husband decides he doesn’t want her any more. Marriage is of God. When two people marry, God joins them together and they must not be separated.

However, there are things that break a marriage long before spouses are divorced. Jesus called it “marital unfaithfulness.” Adultery is not the only form of marital unfaithfulness. There are also other things that break the unity between a husband and wife, for example, abuse, failure to provide, even secretive or deceptive behaviour, can disrupt the unity between husband and wife.

Before a Jewish couple were married, they drew up an agreement between them, witnessed by two witnesses, called a ‘ketubah’. The ketubah was especially designed to protect the wife.

A husband could not simply send his wife away. In the ketubah, he agreed to provide his wife with food, clothing and marital rights. He also agreed to pay a certain amount of money if he divorced her and inheritance rights if he died before her. It was not a mutual agreement. The wife only agreed to accept the husband’s proposal of marriage. The witnesses were there to attest to the husband’s actions, promises and statements and the wife’s agreement to his proposal of marriage.

Because of the husband’s agreement to pay money if he divorced his wife, it forced him to think carefully before he contemplated divorce. The fact that a divorce required a scribe and a specially convened court and witnesses also protected the wife from a husband’s hasty decision.   http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/465168/jewish/The-Marriage-Contract-Ketubah.htm

In accordance with Rabbi Hillel’s teaching, some of the rabbis in Jesus’ day had become lenient about divorce. Others followed the teaching of Rabbi Shammai who was much stricter about the reasons for divorce. The Pharisees came to Jesus because they wanted to know who was right.

Jesus said it was wrong for a husband to look for an excuse to divorce his wife so that he could marry someone else. That was the worst form of marital unfaithfulness. By getting rid of her so that he could marry someone else, he put the blame for the breaking of unity on her and made her the guilty party.

People get divorced because of selfishness and sin. When we are followers of Jesus, we have been given new hearts, a new nature and the Holy Spirit who helps us to live with our husband or wife in unity and harmony instead of in conflict. True Christian marriages are to be a reflection of the unity that exists between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

DIVORCE REDEFINED

Christian Life, ,

DIVORCE REDEFINED

It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (Matt 5:31-32)

The issue of divorce was a thorny one in first-century Jewish society. Opinions were divided between those of rabbis Hillel and Shammai

“Hillel and Shammai were two leading sages of the last century BCE and the early 1st century CE who founded opposing schools of Jewish thought, known as the House of Hillel and the House of Shammai. The debate between these schools on matters of ritual practice, ethics, and theology was critical for the shaping of the Oral Law and Judaism as it is today.

“The House of Shammai held that a man may only divorce his wife for a serious transgression, but the House of Hillel allowed divorce for even trivial offenses, such as burning a meal.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillel_and_Shammai (from the article on “Hillel and Shammai”, retrieved March 2015).

Jesus expanded and clarified His teaching on divorce on one occasion when some Pharisees questioned Him on His opinion because they wanted to know which of the sages He supported. As always, He did not base His view on what other rabbis taught, but on Torah, applying His yoke based on the spirit of Torah.

Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’

‘Haven’t you read,’ He replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female”, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.’ (Matt. 19: 3-6)

Jesus did not dally with the rabbis’ opinions. He went back to the beginning – to God’s instruction in the Torah. Divorce was not in God’s equation in the beginning. It was an addition because of men’s hardness of heart.

‘Why, then,’ they asked, ‘did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?’

Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery.’ (Matt 19: 7-9)

How we have fouled this one up in Jesus’s name! What is “marital unfaithfulness”!

The opinion of Christian theologians and preachers is that this refers to adultery on the part of the wife. However, marital unfaithfulness was much wider than adultery.

Before a Hebrew couple was formally engaged and began their betrothal period, they entered into a ketubah, aprenuptial marriage contract which stated the conditions of their relationship as husband and wife.  If either party willfully broke the ketubah and refused to repent after the other party had followed the correct procedure of intervention (Matt. 18: 15-17), the offended husband or wife was permitted to divorce his or her spouse on the grounds of marital unfaithfulness.

Jesus was dealing here with the abuse of the reason for divorce. Since the House of Hillel was more lenient on the grounds for divorce, men were finding an excuse to divorce their wives if they found someone more to their liking. Women were sent away and left destitute, based on a flimsy excuse, while their husbands married someone else. Jesus declared that these men were committing adultery because they had already lusted after other women in their hearts.

Divorce only became an option because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Once again, when mercy prevailed in a marriage relationship, it formed the basis on which echad could be built. Without mercy, husbands felt they were free to dump their marriage partner for one they thought more suitable on the Halakhah that “Hillel said it was okay.”

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Divorce Redefined

Christian Life, , ,

DIVORCE REDEFINED

It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (Matt 5:31-32)

The issue of divorce was a thorny one in first-century Jewish society. Opinions were divided between those of rabbis Hillel and Shammai

“Hillel and Shammai were two leading sages of the last century BCE and the early 1st century CE who founded opposing schools of Jewish thought, known as the House of Hillel and House of Shammai. The debate between these schools on matters of ritual practice, ethics, and theology was critical for the shaping of the Oral Law and Judaism as it is today.

“The House of Shammai held that a man may only divorce his wife for a serious transgression, but the House of Hillel allowed divorce for even trivial offenses, such as burning a meal.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillel_and_Shammai (from the article on “Hillel and Shammai”, retrieved March 2015).

Jesus expanded and clarified His teaching on divorce on one occasion when some Pharisees questioned Him on His opinion because they wanted to know which of the sages He supported. As always, He did not base His view on what other rabbis taught, but on Torah, applying His yoke based on the spirit of Torah.

Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’

‘Haven’t you read,’ He replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female”, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.’ (Matt. 19: 3-6)

Jesus did not dally with the rabbis’ opinions. He went back to the beginning – to God’s instruction in the Torah. Divorce was not in God’s equation in the beginning. It was an addition because of men’s hardness of heart.

‘Why, then,’ they asked, ‘did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?’

Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery.’ (Matt 19: 7-9)

How we have fouled this one up in Jesus’s name! What is “marital unfaithfulness”?

The opinion of Christian theologians and preachers is that this refers to adultery on the part of the wife. However, marital unfaithfulness was much wider than adultery.

Before a Hebrew couple was formally engaged and began their betrothal period, they entered into a ketubah, a prenuptial marriage contract which stated the conditions of their relationship as husband and wife.  If either party willfully broke the ketubah and refused to repent after the other party had followed the correct procedure of intervention (Matt. 18: 15-17), the offended husband or wife was permitted to divorce his or her spouse on the grounds of marital unfaithfulness.

Jesus was dealing here with the abuse of the reason for divorce. Since the House of Hillel was more lenient on the grounds for divorce, men were finding an excuse to divorce their wives if they found someone more to their liking. Women were sent away and left destitute, based on a flimsy excuse, while their husbands married someone else. Jesus declared that these men were committing adultery because they had already lusted after other women in their hearts.

Divorce only became an option because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Once again, when mercy prevailed in a marriage relationship, it formed the basis on which echad could be built. Without mercy, husbands felt they were free to dump their marriage partner for one they thought more suitable on the Halakhah that “Hillel said it was okay.”

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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