Why does God sometimes speak directly into our hearts the clear words that our spirits hear? Is it because there are no words in Scripture that match our own situation? Is it because our thoughts are so loud that we cannot hear God’s voice?  Is it because sin is so entrenched that our spirits are too dead to hear His soft whisper?

I don’t know the answer but I do know that God is too loving, too committed to finishing what He started to give up on us, to let us get away with our foolishness. 

My disastrous marriage left a deep void in my heart…a deep longing to be loved…not “loved” in the sense that I was just there,  my presence taken for granted… to care for my home and children but truly loved by someone who knew me intimately and loved me for who I am.  I couldn’t diagnose the reason for my emptiness then but…I felt the ache that needed to be filled. 

Of course, my sinful, old nature would find a way…and I sought help in a so-called “friendship”that pretended to be a solution…a substitute for the one who should have been my soul mate.

One morning, years later, in my kitchen at my B&B, my mind began to dwell on those days of pain and loneliness. Why did I follow a path that eventually led nowhere? Why did I think that human companionship outside my marriage could satisfy the ache in my heart? The friendship was still there but also the same familiar feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Why?

The Holy Spirit dropped a gentle word into my heart, so clear that I could not miss it. “You were drinking at the wrong fountain!” Instantaneously, I understood. 

Jeremiah, the ancient prophet of Israel, wrote words that expressed the sorrow in God’s heart when His people, times without number, worshiped idols instead of their own loving God. 

“This is what the Lord says: “What fault did your ancestors find in me, that they strayed so far from me? They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves… “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭2‬:‭5‬, ‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬. 

Water! In Scripture, love is often spoken of as water, drinking water from a fountain. Solomon advised his son… 

“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭5‬:‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I remembered Jesus’ encounter with a Samaritan woman at a well outside her village. Jesus knew that,  after a series of failed marriages, five in all, she had shacked up with a man she could leave at any time if it didn’t work out.  

Jesus didn’t judge her. He didn’t condemn her. Instead, He offered her “living water”…a love so pure that it would completely satisfy her craving for authentic love…love that would last…never fail…disappoint…or degrade her in any way. In simple, wordless words, He explained, “You are  drinking at the wrong fountain!” 

How precious is the Spirit of God! He didn’t judge or condemn me. He simply explained my foolish behaviour. “You were drinking at the wrong fountain!” From that moment, my guilt and shame were obliterated. Like all sinners, everywhere, throughout all time, I had foolishly tried to slake my thirst at the wrong fountain. 

Jesus cried out, to His own people, who were trying, desperately, to drink God’s pure love from a fountain tainted with their own self-righteousness…

“On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.””

‭‭John‬ ‭7‬:‭37‬-‭38‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Jesus offers love…flowing from the heart of God…so pure, so strong, so eternal, that anyone who comes to Him, who drinks from the fountain of His Spirit, will be satisfied forever…God Himself abiding in the heart. 

Not only did the Holy Spirit explain. He transformed! That was the moment when I began to seek the love He offered…the same love that I had felt so warm and strong when my baby died inside me. 

Jesus alone is the fountain of divine love. Only He can slake the thirst of a heart created for Himself Human love will always fail…fickle…self-gratifying…falling of short of the enduring faithfulness found in God alone. 

What captured my heart in this personal encounter with God’s Spirit in that quiet moment at my kitchen table was simply this…the Spirit of God NEVER beat me over the head with condemnation. He didn’t enforce my guilt. He didn’t highlight my sin. He came to me with a simple explanation and a new direction. How precious was that revelation. He called me back to who I was in Christ…a beloved daughter who had wandered off the path. 

This is true repentance…not just the realisation that I had grieved the Father’s heart… but the loving call to come back home. God never discards the sinner. He forgives, cleanses, and restores. 

Since that day, I have been learning to drink at the fountain of living water…Jesus Himself. His love is pure, everlasting, and fully satisfying. 

To be continued