CAN I FORGIVE MYSELF?

How often I hear this this statement, “I just can’t forgive myself!” after a massive blunder that rocks a life.

I have to ask the question, “What is forgiveness?” Can I forgive myself or is this a fallacy that holds me and many other people in the grip of guilt that is… well… Illegitimate. Yes, this lie has its roots in a belief spawned by the devil to keep people in bondage.

Jesus told a story recorded in Matthew 18 that clearly illustrates the core issue of forgiveness. A king called his servants to account for the money they owed him. One servant’s debt was so great that he could never repay the king.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
²³ “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. ²⁵ Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
²⁶ “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
²⁸ “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
²⁹ “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
³⁰ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹ When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
³² “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³ Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 18:21-35

The king had two options; jail him until he paid his debt or cancel the debt and release him from all obligation to repay. The king chose the latter option out of compassion for the servant and his family.

The core issue is simple. All sin is an unpayable debt of one person incurred against another. What can a person do to undo the harm he has caused to another? Nothing can be done to repay his debt. The debtor must either be held in bondage to his victim, or the debt be cancelled and the debtor released from all obligation to repay.

Forgiveness is a legal transaction, the offended releasing the offender of his debt on the truth that Jesus has already paid the debt of all the sin of all people for all time by His death on the cross.

“For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them….”

2 Corinthians 5:19 NLT

Orgiving ourse;ves

How, then, is it possible for me to release myself from the debt I owe me? Can you see that this is an illogical and ridiculous notion? How do I make amends for something I did to myself? I need God’s forgiveness, not mine, for the sin I have committed.

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

1 John 1:9 NLT

Confess means that I agree with God that He is right about my sin. I own it, take responsibility for it and receive God’s forgiveness through the blood of Jesus. He wipes my slate clean. My guilt has gone, and I can continue in unhindered fellowship with God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Since it impossible for me to owe myself anything, I cannot be held in bondage to myself as both creditor and debtor. Therefore, I have no obligation to forgive myself. What I think holds me in bondage is nothing but an illusion.

We must not confuse forgiving ourselves with the regret we feel for what we have said or done. The issue is not about forgiving ourselves, but letting go of the useless regret which serves no useful purpose except to be a platform for Satan’s accusations. Letting go means choosing to forget just as God has chosen to forget our sin because He has forgiven us.