Monthly Archives: June 2023

A FEW THOUGHTS ON DISAPPOINTMENT

Christian Life, ,

A FEW THOUGHTS ON DISAPPOINTMENT

We all experience disappointments, big or small, on our journey through life. What is disappointment? Why are we disappointed?

Disappointment is a feeling of being let down or betrayed when our expectations are not met. We continually place expectations on God, people, or circumstances, many of which are unreasonable or of which the other person has no knowledge or is incapable of fulfilling for whatever reason.

The expectations we have of God are usually based on ignorance, or misunderstanding of who He is, or on what His will and purposes are for us. We pray for things we want, or for God to change the circumstances which make us uncomfortable or unhappy. We make demands of Him based on our own will or wishes instead of submitting to His greater wisdom and purposes.

When nothing happens, we are disappointed, and we hold God accountable for not answering us as we expected. We sometimes even lose faith and walk away because He didn’t do anything for us.

On the other hand, when we fail in our walk with the Lord, we are disappointed with ourselves and we impose our disappointment on God as though He doesn’t know us better than we know ourselves. We beat ourselves up for our failure and fall into depression instead of viewing ourselves as God see us.

“13 The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.”

Psalms 103:13-14 NLT

God sees the bigger picture. He is writing our small story into His big story. Where what we want and demand now is determined by our short-sighted selfishness, God is working in all things for our good.

“23 Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. 24 But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. 25 No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart.”

John 2:23-25 NLT

How reassuring to know that Jesus does not place any unrealistic expectations on us because He knows us! He is never surprised by our failures or disappointed by our sin. All He asks of us is that we are humble enough to acknowledge and take responsibility for our wrongdoing instead of blaming someone or something other than our own sinful hearts.

“8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

1 John 1:8-9 NLT

What about our disappointment with people? We often place unreasonable expectations on a friend or family member, based on our standards, that they are not aware of or incapable of fulfilling. We judge him/her when he/she doesn’t come up to scratch. We feel let down. We might even cut off our association with that person or become depressed because he/she has failed us.

Doesn’t our attitude often arise from the deep-seated, inborn feeling that we are better than the other person? Of course, we would never do to him/her what he/she has done to us!

We fail to recognise or acknowledge that we are just as capable of sin as the other person, given the circumstances. Only by God’s grace can we resist our fleshly temptations in favour of doing the right thing, no matter the cost.

When we humbly recognise our own frailty, we will be more willing to give the one who “failed” us the benefit of the doubt. Our disappointment will give way to understanding and the willingness to forgive rather than to judge.

Sometimes, our circumstances are so stressful that we cry out to the Lord in despair, expecting an instant response, only to wait in vain for deliverance. We weep and wail in anguish, but God seems silent and inactive. Like Job, we plead for answers but no answer comes.

Something happened in the lives of Martha and Mary, Jesus’ dear friends, that illustrate Jesus’ seeming indifference and the disappointment they felt that led to unnecessary pain and grief.

Let‘s look at the background to the story. Martha, Mary and Lazarus lived together in Bethany, a village near Jerusalem. Jesus often seemed to use their home as a place of refuge. They were His good friends and when Lazarus fell ill, it was only natural that the sisters would call Him.

I often wonder where Lazarus fitted into this friendship. On Jesus’ earlier visits to the sisters’ home, he is never mentioned. Did he have reservations about Jesus? Did he resist Jesus’ teaching and side with the religious leaders?

John records that Jesus loved Lazarus. Was it one-sided? Of course, Jesus loved him regardless of his response. Was he not part of a family very special to the Lord?

It seems that Jesus directed this whole incident towards revealing Himself to all three members of this family that would secure their faith in Him once and for all. Why did He deliberately ignore their cry for help when Lazarus lay dying?

To have gone running back to heal Lazarus would have been a notable miracle for them but not any different or bigger than the many miracles He had done for sick people.

When Jesus and His disciples finally reached Bethany, it was too late. By this time, Lazarus’ body was already decomposing in the tomb. The sisters reacted differently to this disastrous disappointment in Jesus.

“20 When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house.”

John 11:20

Martha, the practical one, met Jesus on His way in and reproached Him for His tardiness. She was not yet ready to trust Him enough to see the bigger picture beyond the present circumstances.

“21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

John 11:20-21 NLT

Martha’s confidence in Jesus was limited to what she knew of Him rather than in what He was in His fullness as the Son of God.

Jesus was quick to rebuke her for questioning His action. He hinted at His desire to reveal to this family a far greater truth about both the Father and Himself than they could ever imagine.

“4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.”

John 11:4 NLT

I think Martha, at this point, was repeating her belief in a theological fact included in her religious system, but not in a powerful conviction, written on her heart, that gave her hope.

“23 Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.”

John 11:23-24 NLT

Jesus, always alert to opportunities to reveal who He was – the Son of God, used this situation to drive home the glory of the Father, revealed in the Son, who had power over death itself. His own resurrection, foretold before it happened, would guarantee the resurrection of all those who believe in Him.

Jesus’ declaration, “I am the resurrection and the life,” brought from Martha the confession,

27 “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.”

John 11:27 NLT

… but did she really know what she was saying?

What about Mary?

Jesus was fully aware that Mary was avoiding Him. She refused to go out to meet Him until He called her. Her grief and disillusionment were so deep that she didn’t want to see Him.

Her words to Him, though exactly the same as Martha’s rebuke, were heavy with anger and anguish. Her faith in Him had been shattered and her hope destroyed. She lashed out at Jesus with all the emotion she could muster. Everything she thought she knew about Him was gone, wrecked by His seeming indifference.

Jesus wept, not at Lazarus’ death, but because of Mary’s failure to trust Him. Didn’t she understand that He had something far greater to reveal than His power to heal the sick? He came to make the true Father known, not the rigid, disciplinarian God Israel believed in.

The Father Jesus came to reveal would never ignore the cry of His child. However, if He seemed indifferent, it was His plan to do something far greater than His child expected.

Finally, when Mary saw the whole picture, her anger and bitterness turned to worship. In the next chapter, we see Mary at Jesus’ feet and Lazarus in Jesus’ company, reclining at the banquet table with Him.

Did Lazarus’ death experience at last convince him that Jesus was who He said He was, the Son of God? Gone were his reservations, gone his antagonism and opposition. What had his experience with death taught him? Did he have a glimpse of hell, or perhaps feel the hot breath of the flames?

Did Lazarus need an experience as extreme as death to convince him that Jesus spoke the truth about Himself and His Father?

Had Mary only realised that Jesus had a much bigger and better plan than she could ever imagine, she would not have wasted her emotional energy on grief and disappointment. If she had trusted Him and waited until He came, and seen what He could do, she would have brought Him joy instead of tears.

What lessons can we draw from this story about the way to handle our disappointments?

1. Disappointment will always be a part of life. However, our perspective will either produce emotional distress or grow a greater trust in the love of the Father.

If we consider God’s failure to meet our expectations when and how we demand, we will question His love for us, or even back down on our commitment to Him as Lord.

If we are convinced that God is in charge of our circumstances, we will be willing to submit to His timing and agenda. When bad things happen, we will wait for the final outcome instead of losing faith in Him.

“14 So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny.”

Job 23:14 NLT

2. If we think that people who let us down are the cause of our disappointment, we will always be at the mercy of fallible human beings.

If we recognise that we are as capable of failing them as they failed us, instead of judging, we will forgive out of compassion and understanding.

3. Disappointment can be a great test of the measure of our faith in God. Are we trusting Him only for what He can do for us, or is our faith in who He is, regardless of the outcome of our prayers.

If we are willing to wait for the outcome of our trial instead of insisting on an instant resolution, based on our conviction that God is working in all things for our good, we will save ourselves from a great deal of unnecessary emotional pain. Our confidence in God will lift us above the turmoil of circumstances into the pure atmosphere of peace no matter what we encounter on our journey through life.

“6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

REMAIN IN HIM

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REMAIN IN HIM

 “When they crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret and anchored there. As soon as they got out of the boat, the people recognized Jesus. They ran throughout the whole region and carried the sick on mats to wherever they heard He was. And wherever He went – into villages, towns, or countryside – they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged Him to let them touch even the edge of His cloak, and all who touched Him were healed.” Mark 6:53-56 (NIV).

How did Jesus manage to keep up a schedule like His? Interrupted by a huge crowd when He was trying to get some “me time”, He put aside His own needs and taught the people all day. After feeding them and sending them away, He prayed all night, and then walked a distance on the water to catch up with His disciples. Then He was met by another crowd clamouring for attention, and many for healing. It seems that He moved around in that area from village to village and town to town, healing and preaching day after day.

There is another reference to His “talith” (His garment) in this passage. “They begged Him to let them even touch the hem of His cloak (the tassels of His talith) and all who touched Him were healed” (Vs 56). What was the significance of this? Malachi 4:2 – “But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will with healing in its wings.” Were the people aware of the powerful imagery of Messiah in this prophecy? The tassels on His talith symbolised God’s name, God’s nature, God’s word, and God’s presence.

The “kanaph” – the corners of the talith – are translated as the “wings” which held the tassels. To touch the “hem of his garment” implied that their faith rested in everything the tassels represented. The faith of each person touching Him opened them up to the healing power of the Spirit flowing through Jesus.

In all this frantic activity around Him, how did He experience rest and replenish His strength? He maintained a constant awareness of the Father’s presence and tapped into God by remaining in the Father. And that is what He counsels us to do during demands, busyness, interruptions and responsibilities. To remain in Him keeps us connected to the source of strength and rest. We become channels that are constantly being replenished, not reservoirs that can run dry with no permanent inlet from God.

In John 15, Jesus used the picture of a vine and its branches to teach His disciples about remaining in Him. A branch does not have to try to stay connected to the vine. It just does unless the gardener cuts it off if it bears no fruit. We are like the branches on a vine. We are in the vine and will remain there if we do not allow anything to separate us from Jesus. He said that obedience to Him keeps us connected to the vine.

ONLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS

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ONLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS

“Again, Jesus called the crowd and said, ‘Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a man can make him ‘unclean’ by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him ‘unclean’.’”  Mark 7: 14-15 (NIV).

These words of Jesus cut right across the practices of man-made religion. Why did God give the Jews dietary laws in the first place? The nation of Israel was formed and brought up of Egypt – a pagan nation which did not understand ‘clean’ and ‘unclean’ foods, i.e., foods which were good for the body, or health risks because they were unhealthy or not prepared properly.

God built His health laws into His religious system to ensure that the people would obey them for their own sake. But, as in all religious systems, they began to interpret the forbidding of eating certain foods as religious taboos, and they built an entire religious system on these taboos. This became part of the heavy religious yoke they were wearing that weighed them down.

Jesus exposed their foolish thinking and lifted the yoke in one sentence. “It’s not what goes in that pollutes but what comes out of the “belly” – the inner being.” How does this work? What one eats has no effect upon one’s spirit unless it is the expression of the “yetzer harah” (the greedy person who does not care about other people) as in the story of the rich man and Lazarus. The evil and corruption of sin is already in the heart, and the mouth becomes the instrument which reveals what is already inside.

Surely this makes a whole lot more sense than believing that what a person puts in his mouth defiles him. It is only the foolishness of men’s hearts and the blindness caused by sin that distorts the understanding, producing a senseless belief that something as ordinary as food can somehow pollute a person’s soul. 

By declaring all food clean, Jesus pulled the rug from under the Pharisees’ feet. Much of their ammunition against Him and His disciples was based on their food taboos and their scrupulous washing of hands and cooking utensils. Jesus made it clear that human need was more important than food and Sabbath rules, and the Pharisees hated Him for exposing their hypocrisy.

There are many religions today that do things to the body which they think will make their souls clean, like washing, and eating or not eating certain foods. Nothing can wash our hearts clean, but the forgiveness Jesus bought by His own blood. God demanded our lives as the payment for our debt of sin. Because we are already polluted, giving our lives will only pay for our sin.

Because Jesus lived a pure and unpolluted life of perfect obedience to His Father. His death as though He were a sinner, is enough to atone for the sin of the whole world. Only the blood He shed on the cross can cleanse our hearts and make us acceptable to God.

MULTIPLIED!

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MULTIPLIED!

“By this time, it was late in the day, so His disciples came to Him. ‘This is a remote place,’ they said, ‘and it’s already late. Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.’

“But he answered them, ‘give them something to eat.’ Mark 6:35-37 (NIV).

The disciples were irritated with Jesus. After a busy time, He had planned to spend the day with them out in the country. A crowd arrived and, instead of sending them away, He taught and ministered to them the whole day. By the time evening came, the disciples had had enough. They asked Jesus to send the people away to get food. Jesus refused. Instead, He said to them, “You feed them.” What were they supposed to do? It was late, there were no villages nearby and they did not have enough money to feed such a huge crowd. Jesus had a plan.

We learn some important things about Jesus from this story.

He did not mind interruptions. He did not think about Himself. The people did not irritate Him. He saw their need and did what He could to help them. Not even His weariness or His plan to spent time with His disciples stopped Him from treating them with compassion.

He refused to send the people away hungry. If he did that, He would be telling them that God was not interested in their physical need. He did not want them to find some other source for their need. He had come to reveal God as their Father. Sending them away, as they disciples wanted Him to do, would have given them the wrong message. “Go and find help somewhere else. God does not care about you.”

He had absolute confidence in the character of His Father. He did not have to ask God what to do. He knew that His Father would back up His plan. He took what He had, five barley loaves and two fish, thanked God for them and broke them into pieces to feed the people. As the disciples handed out the bread and fish, everyone had enough to eat and there was enough left over to fill twelve baskets. The boy who gave his lunch went home with much more that when he left.

Jesus had so much confidence in His Father’s love for the people and His power to meet the people’s needs that He didn’t have to ask God to anything. He knew that His Father would do a miracle to provide enough food for everyone.

Jesus says to us, as He said to His disciples, “Follow me.” When we watch Him, we learn to live like He did, with so much confidence in the Father that we don’t have to panic when we are in need. Jesus did not do magic, but He trusted His Father to do a miracle. When we give away what we have, He multiples it and gives it back to satisfy our needs. 

DO WE NULLIFY THE WORD OF GOD?

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DO WE NULLIFY THE WORD OF GOD?

“And He said to them: ‘You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God to observe your own tradition. For Moses said, ‘Honour your father and your mother,’…But you say that if a man says to his father and mother: ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban (that is, a gift devoted to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. Thus, you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.’” Mark 7:9-13

If you want to, there’s always a way around God’s commands so that you will not be inconvenienced or that you will be able to do what you want. In this instance Jesus was saying that the Pharisees made disobedience look “holy” by giving to God what should have been used to take care of needy parents. I say “you” purposely because it is easy to dump guilt on other people and not look at ourselves and ask whether we are doing the same thing.

In what ways do we weasel out of doing God’s commands by redefining truth to suit ourselves? There is something very subtle about “religious” thinking that we must be careful about. Jesus makes it clear here that it is more important to take care of parents than to “give to God”. God sets as much store on looking after other people’s needs as He does on honouring and worshipping Him. To do the one and neglect the other is equally unacceptable to Him.

According to John in his first letter, the two are so closely intertwined that we cannot do the one without the other. We express our love and obedience to God by doing practical acts of caring like clothing and feeding the poor. From Jesus’ perspective, whatever we do for the least of people, we are doing for Him. Mother Teresa called the poorest of the poor, “Jesus in a disturbing disguise.”

How would we respond to people differently if we were aware that they were representatives of Jesus in disturbing disguise? How clearly do we see His face behind the person who draws out contempt in us?

It is important to cultivate an awareness of God’s presence in our everyday lives and in our changing circumstances so that we are not thrown off balance when unexpected things happen to us. We also need to focus on seeing His face in the faces of the people around us, especially in those with whom we can find no connection. This means that we deny ourselves and do something to help the other person even if we don’t feel any responsibility towards him or her.

Jesus explained how He would judge the nations when He comes in His glory; not by looking at our ‘religious’ activities but by the way we took care of, or did not take care of, needy people. They matter to Him. They must matter to us.