PMS – THE MONSTER THAT DESTROYS
In my 83 years, I have had my share of tough times. I suffered a toxic marriage that ended in divorce, which left deep emotional scars, and I endured many years of sub-clinical depression as a consequence.
By subclinical, I mean that this “condition” was not medically diagnosed because I was never physically debilitated by my feelings. For years, I continued my busy life with four young sons under a cloud of misery.
Through these experiences, I have reached a life-changing conclusion which I shall explain in what follows.
A little booklet written by an insightful Christian changed my life forever. This booklet was entitled “How to win over depression” by Tim La Haye, an expansion of a chapter in his book entitled “Spirit Controlled Temperaments”.
The writer used an interesting mathematical equation to explain the mechanism of depression.
A difficult situation or event (essentially sin) X self-pity = depression. How simple is that!
If one removes the self-pity from the equation, the mathematical problem doesn’t exist anymore. Depression disappears.
Is this the way to deal with depression today? The first problem is that medically trained people have made depression a “mental illness” which many try to manage or cure with drugs instead of uncovering and dealing with its root, compounded by self-pity or PMS (Poor Me Syndrome).
When depression becomes a diagnosis, depressed people become victims. Remove the self-pity, and the victim becomes a victor!
Unfortunately, Christian counsellors often follow the treatment misguided secular practitioners use to treat a spiritual problem. I call it “spiritual” because self-pity is part of the vast range of self-sins which form the core of the old sinful nature.
Often, the counsellor’s sympathetic agreement with the patient’s suffering enforces the sufferer’s victim mentality.
In his book, “My Utmost for His Highest”, Oswald Chambers makes this observation (I paraphrase), “Many Christians sit down and die of self-pity, and we help them die.”
Once I grasped the significance of La Haye’s equation, and applied it when depression threatened to overtake me, I have NEVER experienced depression again. As soon as I recognised (past tense) the symptoms, I dealt with the self-pity, and the rest is history!
The steps I took to cure depression have become, for me, like the ABC of reading.
1. I recognised the symptoms of impending depression; no peace in my heart, feelings of hopeless and heaviness, just feeling “bad”.
2. I took steps to identify the issue that triggered those feelings. What had happened to start the process? It could be something I had done wrong that made me feel bad. Sometimes, some sin, done to or by me that I had denied or ignored was the beginning of the equation. Sometimes depression followed a set of painful or unfortunate circumstances that set the ball rolling.
3. I took responsibility for the self-pity that triggered those emotions.
4. I turned to the Lord, confessed, and renounced my self-pity, received His forgiveness for my unbelief in His goodness, and affirmed my confidence in His love for me.
5. I renewed my commitment to trusting in the Lord, resting in His promise that He works in all things for my good. Whatever the issue that provoked my self-pity, I included it in the “all things” working for my good.
The outcome was amazing. God’s peace replaced my depression, His joy was restored, and I began a new chapter of understanding God’s ways.
How often our sin, no matter how insignificant it may seem, sets a process going that affects not only us but also those around us, bringing a cloud of darkness over us, our families and those closest to us. No matter what form that sin takes, it is the fruit of unbelief in God’s love and goodness. It will cause us to feel bad. We will, inevitably, adopt a victim mentality, blame others where we can, and feel sorry for ourselves.
If we don’t recognise and deal with the situation honestly, and stop the emotional downward slide, we will land up in depression. I am convinced that real, deep depression is fertile feeding ground for demonic activity. Not even the diagnosis of “chemical imbalance” with its appropriate medication can offset the invasion of demons into a soul rotten with self-pity.
Psalm 42 is a resume of David’s brush with depression and his journey to victory.
Psalms 42:3 NLT
[3] Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” …
[5] Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and [6] my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you— even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar….
[8] But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life….
[11] Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!
Without the Lord in the centre, depression will win. However, if we allow Him to be in the middle of the process to healing, we will be “more than conquerors” of which Paul speaks in Romans 8.
Romans 8:37 NLT
[37] “No, despite all these things, (every adversity we can think of) overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”
Truly, the permanent cure for depression is not a diagnosis and its treatment. Our hope lies in an honest examination of the situation and a return to the truth of God’s Word. Recognise and deal with the sin that opened the door to depression. Repent and return to the Lord. Receive His forgiveness, and His peace will return.
Hallelujah! God’s Word is the real medicine that works.
Category Archives: Christian Life
ARE YOU BROKEN DOWN OR BROKEN IN?
ARE YOU BROKEN DOWN OR BROKEN IN?
The world is full of broken people. No one escapes the brokenness that sin causes us. Lives, families, communities, towns, cities, and nations are all involved in breaking and destroying, no matter how hard some try to stop the rot.
Why is our world so broken, in the first place? The Bible offers the only explanation for the world’s pain and suffering. It’s called “sin”, but what is sin?
God created a perfect pair and gave them a perfect home. He gave them everything they needed and asked only one thing of them, to love Him by obeying His instructions. “Just don’t try to go it alone. You’ll never make it!”
So, what they do? They decided to leave God out of their lives and make their own rules. The result is very real everywhere today. Brokenness!
Does God care about our brokenness? Has He done anything to fix the mess we have made for ourselves? Yes, He does care,
Psalms 34:18 NLT
[18] The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
and yes, He paid the terrible debt of sin Himself. He came as a human to take the death penalty Himself.
Isaiah 53:4-5 NLT
[4] Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his wn sins! [5] But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.
All He asks of us is to come back to Him and start again. He has forgiven our sin, cancelled our debt and restored us to His family. “Now,” He says, “you must show your love for me by obeying my instructions.”
That’s the brokenness that heals our brokenness. Like a wild young stallion that is “broken in” so that it learns to submit to the rider, so we are broken in to submit to Jesus as Lord, our Supreme Authority.
Psalms 51:16-17 NLT
[16] “You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. [17] The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”
So, the question we must all answer is, “Are you still broken down or are you broken in?”
THE FINAL “WE KNOW”
THE FINAL “WE KNOW”
1 John 5:20-21 NLT
[20] And we know that the Son of God has come, and he has given us understanding so that we can know the true God. And now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life. [21] Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.
John ends his letter where he started. Our fellowship with the Father and with each other depends on the issues he has presented in his letter.
Jesus is the Son of God. He came to earth as a real man. The Holy Spirit, who is our true teacher, has made His life, death, and resurrection plain to us.
Faith in Jesus’ saving work has brought us into oneness of heart with God. We are really getting to know Him, increasingly understanding His ways, and growing in our unity and fellowship with Him through trust and obedience.
Despite the efforts of unbelievers who try to turn us away from the truth by lies and deception, we stand firm in our faith because we are convinced that the God we believe in is the true God, and we can only have eternal life through Him.
So, John urges, don’t let anything lure you away from God, the Father, Son, God and Holy Spirit, as your source of truth and object of worship. Let nothing, no matter how attractive or alluring, replace God as the centre of your life.
TO SUM UP…
TO SUM UP…
1 John 5:18-19 NLT
[18] “We know that God’s children do not make a practice of sinning, for God’s Son holds them securely, and the evil one cannot touch them. [19] We know that we are children of God and that the world around us is under the control of the evil one.”
How does John sum up this rambling letter, full of repetition and going around in circles? He has repeatedly affirmed the believer’s status in Christ, and the ways in which we can have assurance that we belong to Him.
Now he begins his conclusion with his final “we know”. What do we know that makes us secure in our faith in Jesus?
Sin, the enemy within, and the evil one, the enemy without, are lumped together as the great cause of our doubts and fears. John has repeatedly assured his readers that, through God’s great love, Jesus has taken care of the issue of sin. His atoning sacrifice has dealt with our guilt, and delivered us from sin’s power over us because He came to destroy the works of the devil.
Therefore, we no longer practise sin as a way of life. In fact, if we keep on deliberately sinning after claiming to be God’s child, we negate that claim and still come under God’s judgment. Those who are “in Christ” are protected from a life of sin by His power.
The other great truth that we know is that the world is clearly divided into two camps, us and them. We, as children of God, come under His authority and protection. They, as those who have rejected saving faith in Jesus, come under the control of the evil one. That includes all the people who side with him and all the world systems opposed to God.
This clash of kingdoms that affects our lives, will only end for us when we leave this earth. Therefore, our role here is to stand firm in our faith, put the flesh to death, choice by choice, through the Spirit’s power in us, and persevere, moment by moment, in our obedience to Jesus until we see Him.
What a hope for those who have committed to this way of life until we reach our goal!
PRAYERS THAT HEAL
PRAYERS
THAT HEAL
1 John 5:16-17 NLT
[16] If you see a fellow believer sinning in a way that does not lead to death,
you should pray, and God will give that person life. But there is a sin that
leads to death, and I am not saying you should pray for those who commit it.
[17] All wicked actions are sin, but not every sin leads to death.
We should never be afraid that we have committed a sin that “leads to
death” if we are faithfully following Jesus. If we are in this life, we
will always be vulnerable to the desires of our fleshly nature. John has
already assured us that our Advocate, Jesus, represents us to the Father. His
blood avails for the forgiveness of all our sin, past, present, and future.
1 John 2:1-2 NLT
[1] “My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin.
But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the
Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. [2] He himself is
the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of
all the world.”
As children in God’s family, we have a duty towards a genuine brother or sister
in the Lord who falls into sin.
Just as Paul urged Galatians believers to restore a fallen believer,
Galatians 6:1 NLT
[1]”Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some
sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the
right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”
So John also urges us to pray for those who have stumbled on the way.
John urges us to pray for them since prayer addresses the issue from God’s
side. Our prayers are often God’s way of dealing with sin from within. The Holy
Spirit awakens the conscience and understanding of the sinner that has affected
themselves and others, breaking fellowship with the Father and with whoever has
been offended.
John assures his readers that God will answer such prayers and restore life to
the offender.
However, in the context of this letter, John has made a case against those who
deliberately choose to walk away from the fellowship of believers. In doing so,
they are working at pulling others down with them by deception, twisting the
truth out of shape by their teaching.
John 2:19 NLT
[19] “These people left our churches, but they never really belonged with
us; otherwise, they would have stayed with us. When they left, it proved that
they did not belong with us.”
Not only have they left the church, but they have also tried to take others
with them.
John 2:26 NLT
[26]”I am writing these things to warn you about those who want to lead
you astray.”
There is an ongoing battle between light and darkness. Our enemy has human
allies who help him to deceive vulnerable believers who are not anchored in the
truth.
John gives us three ways by which we can test our standing in God. We know God
when we believe that Jesus came in the flesh and that He is the Son of God. We
love God if we obey His commandments, and if we love His children.
Deceivers claim to know God, but they fail the test in these three areas. They
are liars and foreigners to the truth.
“Don’t waste your time praying for them. They are liars, and no liar has a
place in God’s family.”
The sin that leads to death is obstinate and deliberate refusal to believe and
obey the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God is always merciful, but He
cannot show mercy to an unrepentant sinner. Therefore, until they repent,
prayer will not avail for them.