Monthly Archives: January 2016

Reciprocal Relationships

Bible Study, , , ,

RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIPS

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honour your father and mother’ which is the first commandment with a promise – ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:1-4).

Have you noticed how relationships always work in pairs? They are never one-sided. People on every level function interdependently but, at the same time, one group sets the tone and the other responds, and vice versa. Take the relationship between parents and children or, as Paul instructed here in his letter to Ephesian believers newly rescued out of paganism, fathers and children.

Why did Paul single out fathers for their specific role in the family? Is it not because, again, fathers have the responsibility to take the lead and to set the tone for the whole family. This, of course, assumes that there is a father in the family and that he recognises and understands his role as the head of the home.

With today’s rebellion against God’s beautiful idea for marriage, the world is full of biological fathers who have abdicated their role as real fathers, procreating offspring like animals whose main purpose is to pass on their genes, while ignoring their task of raising their children in a godly environment. Is it any wonder that the world is also full of ‘orphans’ who have no identity, no security, no home and no name because their fathers are not fathering them as Paul instructed?

It was not God’s idea to set boundaries around human behaviour to spoil our fun. Belief in the lie of evolution has a spin-off. If human beings are no more than a higher order of apes, evolved over millions of years to walk upright and to have superior intelligence, then it is in order for us to behave like apes, ignoring such things as decency and morality. (From where do morality and conscience come if we are only human apes)?

We can only be safe and flourish within the boundaries of well-defined moral behaviour. God’s prescriptions for children and fathers in the family circle constitute the safety zone in which they are protected and can live in harmony with one another.

When roles and functions are blurred, the power struggle begins and the result is chaos and unhappiness. It is the father’s role to set the standards for the child the moment he or she enters the world. Baby is not king in the house and the sooner he learns that, the better.

God has only one requirement for children – obedience to their parents. That does not mean that parents must beat their children into submission. They must apply discipline where necessary but always in the best interests of protecting love and preserving unity, not venting their anger and frustration on the child because they are bigger and stronger.

Why is obedience to parents of primary importance? A child is naturally selfish and independent – the hallmarks of Adam’s nature in them. If he is left to himself, his potential for selfishness and independence will come to full bloom in a life of lawlessness and rebellion against all authority and he will end up a hardened criminal living a wasted life, probably in a prison cell.

It is the father’s role to tame that potential for rebellion by nurturing his child in the atmosphere of love and acceptance, to submit to his authority in the home. That presupposes that the father will love his child enough to set reasonable boundaries and to reinforce them lovingly and not in anger or frustration. Again, that presupposes that he is submitted to Jesus Christ as Lord and that he honours God and obeys His Word just as he expects his child to honour and obey him.

Once again, there is no place for one person lording it over another even if they are father and child. No child will honour, respect and obey a cruel or abusive father. He will do so if his parent treats him with respect. That implies and includes reasonable boundaries which, of necessity, will change as the child grows older.

This interconnected, interactive behaviour is intended to foster loving and harmonious relationships in the home that produce order and contentment. Each one in the family must know his or her place according to God’s Word, within which he or she will be safe and contented. When one or another steps out of line, the result is chaos, confusion and unhappiness.

There is a pitfall every parent must avoid – the idea that it is important to be your child’s ‘friend’. Some parents are afraid to exercise discipline and to teach their children to behave in a civilised way because they don’t want to lose their child’s ‘friendship’. That is a lie from the devil. Parents are parents, not friends. God placed parents in the home to guide and shape their children for responsible adulthood, not to be on the level with them or to please them.

It is only within this environment of interactive living that children can be their real selves and can develop to their full potential in the atmosphere of harmony and peace. The world is full of angry people, angry because Dad was either missing or a tyrant in the home. God’s way is the only way that really works.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

My second book, Learning to be a Disciple – The Way of the Master (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing), a companion volume to Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart, has been released in paperback and digital format on www.amazon.com.

For more details, check my website:

http://luellaannettecampbell.com/

Have you read my blogs on www.learningtobeason.wordpress.com ?

Back To The Beginning

Bible Study, , , ,

BACK TO THE BEGINNING

He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for his body just as Christ does the church – for we are members of His body. ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Eph. 5:29-33).

There we have it again! Back to the beginning.

Man always looks for loopholes to skirt God’s plan. When the Pharisees questioned Jesus about legitimate reasons for divorce, quoting Moses as their source and rabbis Hillel and Shammai as the recognised authoritative interpreters of God’s Law, Jesus took them back to God’s original intention for marriage.

Humans have introduced their own ideas about marriage and its purpose. Some believe that the union between a man and a woman is purely for the procreation of children. Once the family is complete, sexual union slows down and eventually stops and the relationship slowly deteriorates into nothing more than two people living under the same roof but going their separate ways.

Others treat marriage as a one-stop shop to get everything they need. If the spouse does not supply on demand, he or she shops elsewhere for what they want. Some even practise what they call “open marriage”, both marriage partners committing adultery with the other spouse’s permission, sometimes even together in the same room or in the same house.

Still others elevate their idea of marriage somewhat by seeing it as a union for companionship. The “best friend” concept is a lofty one but it still does not measure up to God’s intention for marriage.

Paul had an insight into this most sacred of unions which matched the explanation of Jesus by taking its elevated purpose in Christ to its highest level. Marriage presents a profound picture of the union between Christ and His church. Just as God intended Israel to be espoused to Him as His bride in the Old Testament, so Jesus proposed to His disciples to be His bride when the church was born on the Day of Pentecost. The church was to live in the most intimate of spiritual unions with their unseen Bridegroom and to await His return when their union would be consummated and complete.

However, this unity with Jesus in the Spirit should never be degraded into some mystical physical union. This is a union of heart, mind and purpose. The physical union of a man and a woman in a monogamous marriage is the picture of the oneness God desires to have with His people.

God is one. Each person in the Godhead submits to and participates in a perfect union of being and function. The Father planned, the Son executed and the Holy Spirit administers both creation and the “new creation”. They function in perfect harmony, both in who they are and what they do, without confusion or competition.

As the Godhead is one, so God desires that marriage should represent that oneness and that the family should uphold and protect unity in their relationship with one another through mutual submission. Jesus is God but He is also the Son. He came to earth to reveal the true nature of the Father and to model a real son. He lived in union with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit during His sojourn on earth by perfectly obeying, submitting to and depending on the Father and the Holy Spirit.

It is the role of the church, as the bride of Christ, to submit to and obey Him as Lord. In the same way, it is the role of the wife to submit to and obey her husband as her bridegroom as she is his bride, calling him “Lord” in the sense that he is the head. His role is to serve and take responsibility for her health and well-being, both spiritually and physically. Their mutual dependence will be harmonious when they each fulfil their own role without one trying to dominate or usurp the role of the other.

Love is the only environment in which a husband and wife will ever become one. When a husband focuses on the best interests of his wife in selfless love, she will be glad and willing to submit to his leadership because she knows that he will always do the best for her and the family.

This kind of love is neither humiliating nor degrading. It is the echo of the love the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit share in their relationship with one another. It is the love into which the Godhead invites human beings as they participate in His life through faith in Christ. Enjoying and sharing the love of God is the essence of salvation.

How sad that salvation has been reduced to “going to heaven when we die” as though everything God did for us in Christ provides nothing more than an escape route from hell! How can we credit this God who is, in the enormity and mystery of His being incomprehensible love, with so beggarly a motive for sacrificing His Son? Come on, church!

Jesus came to give us back the life God breathed into man at the beginning – His life in all its fullness and beauty. He reiterated that purpose when He invaded planet earth to restore what God created at the beginning.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10b).

And this is the testimony; God has given us eternal life, and this life is in the Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life (1 John 5:11-12).

When a husband and wife put themselves and self-interest aside to foster this unity through the power of the Holy Spirit, they will begin to grasp and experience the intensity of God’s love in ever-increasing measure just as He intended from the beginning.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

My second book, Learning to be a Disciple – The Way of the Master (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing), a companion volume to Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart, has been released in paperback and digital format on www.amazon.com.

For more details, check my website:

http://luellaannettecampbell.com/

Have you read my blogs on www.learningtobeason.wordpress.com ?

Love Is The Key

Bible Study, , , ,

LOVE IS THE KEY

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself (Eph. 5: 25-28).

Paul concluded his instructions to the church with a call to mutual submission. He also prefaced his picture of family harmony with the same call – to mutual submission. The Bible does not teach wives to submit to their husbands without the husband’s reciprocal responsibility towards his wife.

However, nowhere does the Bible insist that wives serve their husbands. Now isn’t that strange? Why do many husbands, even within the church, equate submission with service – in fact, slavery? The moment he walks in the door, she is his servant, waiting on him hand and foot. While he is out at work, she still acts like his slave, picking up his clothes, tidying his cupboard, putting away the litter he has left around the house, preparing his favourite meals and generally ensuring his well-being in every part of his life. His home is his castle and in it, he reigns supreme.

If believers are followers of Jesus, our role is to imitate Him, not the caricature of Jesus which many sections of the church present as the substitute for the real Jesus. Church leaders even lord it over their people, insisting on fancy titles and expecting to be treated like the pet lamb instead of being the shepherd.

Jesus insisted that He came, not to be served but to serve. The Old Testament prophecies present Him as the Ebed Yahweh – the Servant of the Lord. First of all, He submitted to and obeyed the Father. He served the Father by doing His will. It was the Father’s will that He serve His children in His earthly life and die in their place to pay their debt of sin. He directed every moment of His life to please the Father.

Jesus is the model of servant leadership for the husband. God intended marriage to be a visual aid of the oneness within the Trinity. The key to this unity is humility, and humility can only be fostered in the atmosphere of mutual submission – each person taking his or her place within the marriage, focussing on the well-being of the other without stubborn resistance, pride or rebellion towards one another.

It is pride and selfishness that ruin unity. It takes humility for a husband to serve his wife with sacrificial love and it takes the same humble submission for a wife to permit her husband to serve her without resistance or protest. God intended marriage to be, first of all, the union of two separate individuals producing, not uniformity but harmony in their relationship and fellowship with one another.

Children learn from their parents. They follow example before instruction. They will imitate what they see rather than what they are told. When they witness a continual power struggle between their parents, with each one attempting to control the other, with continual resistance and arguments, they will copy that kind of behaviour among themselves in the home and in their relationships outside the home.

Once again, divine wisdom paves the way for stable family life. Of course, human beings think they know better than God. They place the focus on what works (or doesn’t work) for them. Instead of following God’s pattern of protecting love, preserving unity and promoting contentment within the home by humility and mutual submission, they focus on what they believe to be the key to a happy marriage, their spouse. It is the other spouse’s responsibility to meet their need and make them happy.

The result? Discontented spouses, affairs and adultery, broken homes and rampaging divorce statistics. Men and women go from marriage to marriage to marriage in a desperate attempt to find happiness, only to have the same disappointment repeated over and over again. Their conclusion? Marriage does not work so let’s “shack up” instead so that we can go our separate ways if it doesn’t work out without having to go through the bother of a divorce.

Bending God’s rules or making our own is a recipe for disaster. God always give His instructions and sets His boundaries to protect us from self-destruction. Within His prescriptions for living, we will find freedom and safety.

God’s pattern for a “successful” marriage is simple but not easy. Mutual submission and sacrificial service require “dying” to one’s own desires, needs and demands. We have both Jesus’ example to follow and the Holy Spirit within us to guide and empower us to do God’s will. In the doing, we will discover that, after all, God knows best. We will find peace and the harmony in the home which we desire and which is the outcome of doing life God’s way.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

My second book, Learning to be a Disciple – The Way of the Master (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing), a companion volume to Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart, has been released in paperback and digital format on www.amazon.com.

For more details, check my website:

http://luellaannettecampbell.com/

Have you read my blogs on www.learningtobeason.wordpress.com?

Stop The Power Struggle

Bible Study, , ,

STOP THE POWER STRUGGLE

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything (Eph. 5:22-24).

God never intended marriage to be a power struggle between husbands and wives. In fact, He gave the pattern for marriage at the beginning. He made a man and a woman – the man from the dust and the woman from the man so that they would have the same flesh and be equal in their person and worth before God. He brought the woman to the man, who recognised her as the completion of himself just as male and female creatures completed each other in the natural world.

God taught them that, through their physical union, they would represent and reflect the unity between God the Father. God the Son and God the Holy Spirit in the Godhead.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (Gen.2:24).

God intended that they live out a visual aid of unity in their permanent monogamous union. Before the fall and the intrusion of selfishness and sin, it was possible for these two perfect and sinless human beings to reflect the nature of God in their relationship with one another.

In every association of people there needs to be a leader – one who coordinates and shows the way for others to follow. Leadership is not about superiority but about function – creating cohesion and setting the example. God chose men to lead in the home. This is no way demeans of lowers the worth or dignity of any other member of the household. It puts the responsibility and accountability of the family to God, his Creator on the husband and father.

The role of leader in no way makes the husband a despot or the “boss”, like some sort of autocrat or dictator. Unfortunately, humankind in its worldly wisdom and rejection of God has set up a model which conflicts with God’s model of leadership and has turned many leaders into monsters who push people around at will.

God’s pattern for order in the home includes authority and submission – wives to husbands and children to fathers. However, order is much more than the wife kowtowing to the husband at the expense of her dignity and for the sake of peace. Husband and wife are equal partners in this union. The wife has a specific part to play, as does the husband.

The wife’s role is to submit to her husband as she submits to Christ as her head. She must trust him to hear, understand and interpret God’s will for their lives clearly and accurately. That does not mean that he makes arbitrary decisions but that he takes responsibility for the decisions they make together and leads the way in carrying them out in obedience to the Holy Spirit’s leading.

The wife also follows the husband’s lead in training their children in the ways of the Lord. She must uphold his authority in the home and stand with him in the day-to-day decisions he makes for his family, even if she does not agree with him. She must not contradict or undermine him in front of the children. She must not allow her children to manipulate her or her husband by playing the one off against the other.

Children are smart. They will quickly recognise the weak spots in their parents’ relationship and use them to their own advantage. Children can only learn their respective roles in life if their parents model what they are as male and female and what a husband and wife are in their relationship with and behaviour towards one another.

It is not the husband’s role or responsibility to demand submission from his wife. She will gladly submit to him, not if she is forced to but because she wants to obey the Lord and only if her husband fulfils his role as laid down in God’s Word. Harmony in the home only happens when each party falls in line with God’s pattern for marriage.

For the wife, God’s pattern is submission, reflecting His pattern for the church. There should never be confusion about the place of the church, or its leaders, in God’s plan. The church is the bride of Christ.  He is the head and she comes under His authority and protection as His beloved. He cares for her provides for her and protects her from the ravages of sin by setting the example and by leading the way to godly and holy living.

When the wife keeps her eyes on Jesus and follows His pattern of submission and obedience to the Father as a perfect son, she will set the tone, together with her husband of peace and togetherness in the family.

However, this is only half the story.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

My second book, Learning to be a Disciple – The Way of the Master (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing), a companion volume to Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart, has been released in paperback and digital format on www.amazon.com.

For more details, check my website:

http://luellaannettecampbell.com/

Have you read my blogs on www.learningtobeason.wordpress.com ?

A Different Kind Of Intoxication

Bible Study, , , ,

A DIFFERENT KIND OF INTOXICATION

Do not get drunk on wine which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of the Lord Jesus. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:18-21).

What an apt contrast between control by a spirit and control by the Spirit!

I have never been a wine bibber or a pub crawler, but I have seen and heard enough to know what alcohol does when it controls a human being. Inhibitions go and raw animal instincts take control. Whatever the drinker’s disposition, alcohol takes over and enhances. The more alcohol, the more the individual acts out who he or she is. Some become morose and retreat into themselves; others become loud and bawdy or angry and violent. The bottom line is that self-control gives way to alcohol’s control.

Unfortunately, alcohol does not leave the body quietly. It poisons the brain and leaves a trail of devastating consequences. The drinker suffers the aftermath of intoxication – “hangover”, headache, the stomach revolts and, over the long term, dignity and respect go, brain function deteriorates and the individual lives a lie rather than acknowledge the problem and call for help.  Wives and families are dragged into the mix, embarrassment and shame drive them to hide the problem and shrink from society.

Paul warns against such a lifestyle – which was probably common among those who had turned from their old ways to embrace their new life in Christ. He indicated that excessive consumption of alcohol leads to debauchery. What is debauchery?

“Debauchery is the habitual and unrestrained indulgence of lust and sensuality. There are several places in Scripture where the word debauchery is used to indicate what we would, today, call “partying.” It encompasses several aspects of unholy living, including but not limited to sexual immorality, drunkenness, crude talk, and generally out-of-control behaviour.”

http://www.gotquestions.org/debauchery.html – retrieved January 2016.

The tragedy in modern western society is that many young people think that it is “adult” to drink. They do it with or without their parents’ knowledge, some even learning and practising the drinking habit in their own homes, not knowing or realising the consequences until it is too late. They kill someone by drunken driving or violent confrontation, they get young girls pregnant in their drunken state or they even begin the downward slide towards alcoholism with its accompanying crime and wasted lives.

This is no way for a child of God to live. We have a Spirit that resides in our hearts and desires to control us, just as alcohol controls those who imbibe, but with very different results. When the Holy Spirit controls, He does not take a person over with devastating consequences. In fact, the Holy Spirit never controls an individual’s will. The Holy Spirit guides and directs only by permission.

The Holy Spirit’s control leads to enhanced sensitivity and responsibility. His focus is always on the Father and the Son. He removes the inhibitions that impede our obedience to Him, but not the inhibitions that protect against immorality. He gives the boldness and confidence to trust the Father and to praise Him without hindrance. He removes the fear of man and enables us to overcome barriers between ourselves and our spiritual brothers and sisters to bring hope and encouragement and to build up one another’s faith in the Lord.

The Holy Spirit fills us with joy and loosens our tongues to praise God with every expression of music and song. He fills our hearts with thanksgiving and gratitude to the Lord for His goodness to us.

We never let go of our right to make decisions and choices but the Holy Spirit in us will influence us towards what is righteous and true when we submit to His leading allow Him to empower or choices with action.

Paul used the Greek present continuous tense which infused his instruction with meaning. Being filled with the Spirit is not a once-off experience that gives us the right to classify ourselves or others as “Spirit-filled” believers, as though there are two classes of believers, Spirit-filled and not-Spirit-filled, depending on whether or not you have had the “baptism” of the Spirit.

Scripture makes no such distinction. Every believer has been given the Holy Spirit. He indwells all who believe in Jesus and acknowledge Him as Lord. It is every believer’s responsibility to give the Holy Spirit freedom to influence his choices and behaviour every moment of every day. The command is, “Be being filled,” or “Keep on being filled with the Spirit.” It is a moment-by-moment awareness of the Spirit’s presence and the need to allow Him to direct our decisions and choices according to His Word.

To be filled with the Spirit is not a label, it’s a lifestyle of obedience to His leading.

Scripture is taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Have you read my first book, Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing)? You’ll love it!

ISBN: Softcover – 978-1-4828-0512-3,                                                                              eBook 978-4828-0511-6

Available on www.amazon.com in paperback, e-book or Kindle version, on www.takealot.com  or order directly from the publisher at www.partridgepublishing.com.

My second book, Learning to be a Disciple – The Way of the Master (Copyright © 2015, Partridge Publishing), a companion volume to Learning to be a Son – The Way to the Father’s Heart, has been released in paperback and digital format on www.amazon.com.

For more details, check my website:

http://luellaannettecampbell.com/

Have you read my blogs on www.learningtobeason.wordpress.com ?